Grr... blah... yech...

I feel like crap. Not physically, although I am tired. But mentally. I've been under so much stress for so long my head feels like the guy on Jerm's blog.

That has been bugging me all day, btw. Thanks a lot, Jerm. Now I'll probably have nightmares, too. Just what I need.

:)

I don't want to move. But that's like saying I don't want to breathe. It's not exactly a choice. When the guy who owns the property says get the fuck out, then sooner or later, you gotta get the fuck out. I mean, we could stay and be squatters, and force the landowner to go to court and have us evicted, but then somewhere in the Christmas timeframe, I'd be watching constables literally pitch my possesions onto the front lawn... and somehow I think I'd feel worse about that than I do about having to move.

So I get to look forward to stuffing half of what I own into an over-priced Public Storage garage, and cramming the other half (and all of us) into a little one-bedroom apartment . Happiness, I tell ya. My kids who adore playing in their small but utterly beloved backyard kingdom get to downgrade to a public playground two blocks away. My son, who simply LOVES his own decorated, personalized bedroom, gets to learn how to share a room with me and his baby sister while dad gets demoted to the couch. I could expand forever on how shitty this could be, but I'm trying to be positive. It's not... really working.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day.

Some positive things...
---I have a job. Therefore my truck is not going to be repossessed, because if I have to live in THAT, I will not miss the payment.
---My kids are relatively healthy. My son has asthma but it's under control. No developmental disabilities to cost us thousands of extra dollars, not to mention the extra emotional stress. And we have insurance if someone does get sick.
---We will have a place to live (assuming they have a unit open - I'm trying not to think of the other complexes I've looked into, the slums and ghettos, where we'll be forced to go if this one has no available units). I am still not entirely sure how I will pay the rent, utilities and truck payment while still having to feed us, pay insurance and buy things like, oh, I dunno, gasoline, diapers and clothes for growing kids... but since murdering my lazy, unemployed husband is out of the question, I guess I'll just nag him till he gets a job.
---I have a TV. In fact I have 2. I have a DVD player. Actually, I have 2 of those, also. This means when I get home from work to my itsy-bitsy little apartment and two screaming, cooped-up children, (and the aforementioned unemployed husband) I can always give the kids Benadryl and curl up to watch Firefly on DVD. Wonderful escape, I tell ya.

Kidding. About the Benadryl. Okay, maybe only half-kidding.

Well, somehow I will get through. We always do, don't we??