Remarkably Smart

My little man started school today. Pre-K, which would be called HeadStart in Oklahoma. I missed the drop-off and pick-up for him, since I'm the Working Parent, but I hear that he bolted towards the classroom so fast his dad didn't even get a chance to tell him good-bye. He's been excited about school for weeks (Tommy, not his dad).

The teacher's assistant reportedly said at pick-up (a whole three hours later) that Tommy was "remarkably smart" and "an absolute joy." Well, I knew that. Dad's chest swelled with pride; mine too, after all I am the one who taught the Boy Genius how to count to 100, spell words like "envelope" and "Cingular", write his name, sound out words, recognize every shape from circles to hexagons, know every color from red to chartreuse, program phone numbers into the phone, build strip malls with Tonka trucks on the computer, etc. His dad taught him the appropriate use of certain cuss-words, how to throw dirty underwear into the corner instead of the middle of the floor, and how to bring him a coke without shaking it up too much. Yes, my child is smart.

I also know he is a joy, with his bubbly personality and infectious laugh. MY chest swells with pride, this I know. At least the pride kept my little guy on his dad's good side the rest of the afternoon. It even earned him a popsicle when he got home. Way to go!

I do wish Pre-K lasted a little longer than 3 hours. It almost seems like a tease to keep them only that long. Especially smarties like my boy. He WANTS to be at school, WANTS to learn and socialize. HeadStart in Oklahoma at least goes most of the day. The issue is probably that there's not enough space for all the kids who qualify to be in the program for a full day. The admittance is based on low-income guidelines, with the idea that if you make over a certain amount of money, you can pay for private pre-school.

Speaking of that, it sure would be nice to celebrate the Back-to-School Season by winning that MegaMillions Jackpot worth $250 million. Of course, I'd take the cash option, so I'd only get about $146 million, pre-tax. Post-tax, I'd stuff it into some big-ass offshore account where the interest can accrue tax-free, then just donate a certain percentage of my annual interest to charities that will actually use the money for worthwhile causes. Better than paying capital gains tax to fund W's Iraqi Oil Extravaganza.

Oh, and I'd definitely share a chunk with y'all in the Bloop. I would! Really! There'd be a helluva party, I swear.