BREAKING NEWS usually gets your attention.
BREAKING NEWS usually means it's important, at least to someone.
BREAKING NEWS makes you want to get the full story!!!
Unless it's BREAKING NEWS: Police officer arrested, accused of slapping woman's bare buttocks.
How in the hell does someone consider that worthy of its own midday email to thousands of breaking-news subscribers? "Explosion at Downtown Gas Plant" was one thing - that I can understand as interesting, and even important since it closed down two highways for the afternoon commute. "Space Shuttle Lands Successfully Despite Damaged Tiles" was iffy; I could probably have waited on that one, but some people probably cared. "Bridge Collapses in Minnesota; Dozens Feared Dead" was definitely in the breaking news catagory, because I'm sure some Texans had relatives up there.
But this? C'mon, guys. Journalism of this sort makes it a little easier to understand why I wake up sometimes feeling like this country is teetering on the edge of societal collapse. I wonder what's next? "This Just In: President Bush has just completed reading the novel If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, completing the book in just under four days."
Well, no, I guess that actually would be quite amazing.
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3 comments:
You are so freaking hilarious!
I'm more partial to BREAKING NEWS: Britney Spears shaves her head. lol
There was another BREAKING NEWS today about how Lindsay Lohan was charged with 9 misdemeanor DUIs and no cocaine charges.
I don't know *sigh*. If that was me or you, we'd have already been working for the State for weeks, if not months.
lol yes, that would be quite a feat. I also see your official "count down til bush's last day in office" ticker. that rocks right up there with the end of high gas prices and cold season. hope ur feeling better :)
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